when the going gets tough...

I tend to run away and never look back. I have an incredible self defense mechanism that prevents me from accepting that I have lost, or gave up. I am the world champion at coming up with excuses for giving up on what I once called dreams. I can prove I never wanted anything like that, that that dream was not mine, that I am better off without achieving it. BUT... this attitude never gets me anywhere. This attitude is only keeping me in the same place while time passes by.

It's this attitude that I am trying my best to ignore at this moment when I feel like all I wanna do is go somewhere...to no worries' land...and just enjoy the silence of an untroubled mind.

However, I have things to do, presentations to prepare, fears to overcome, frustrations to forget, visa procedures to start, stereotypes to break down.

So let the show begin! I've put my self defense mechanism on hold and I am taking things as they come!

It's no fun being a responsible adult, I'm telling you!

one of my latest musical obsessions

the perfect book

For me, there are three types of books: the bad ones (I can just as well not finish them), the good ones (well written, interesting theme) and the perfect ones.

In every book I look for the perfect book. The book that captivates me so much that I can skip sleeping and miss my buss stop if I read on my way to work.

Last time I found a perfect book (and what a book it is!) I had to take a day off from work because I just didn't wanna stop reading.

The feeling that I get while reading such an art piece is unbelievable. I feel like I am part of a greater universe than I can imagine, that the whole world is just filled with hidden wonders that are waiting for me to find them. My mind starts to wonder and suddenly I feel like I am there, in the book, as a witness to the action, as if the author had actually written that book for me.

The first perfect book I remember reading was Heidi (by Johanna Spyri). I must have been around eight years old when I found the book in my family's library and read the story of the little orphan girl without leaving the book out of my hands. I remember living that story as if I was part of it and I cried for little Heidi as if she was my best friend.

Over the years, although I grew up, I never stopped living the perfect book while reading it. I still cry, laugh, giggle with enthusiasm and most of all dream with the characters.

life on the run...runs out

We live in a world where things change so fast that we need to be on a constant run in order to keep up with everything. 

I don't know if somehow the hours got shorter, the days no longer have the classical 24 hours as we were taught in school... I can't say what happened to time, but I have the feeling that it is shrinking like an old man.

Today, as I was coming home from work, I realized I was content that another day has passed, but I was sad to acknowledge the fact that I could not say one single thing that "made my day". 

Sometimes I like to sit back at the end of the day and see what are the high and the low points of those hours that passed since I got out of bed (with one hand on the coffee mug). And today it was all empty. No high (though I remember laughing today), no low. Just many hours that passed by as I was on the run, never thinking about the present moment, but of what I still have to get done. I lived my day as if it was not mine, as if I could wake up tomorrow and start Wednesday all over again.

I want my high of the day and I want it everyday. Is it so wrong?

Why am I (are we) always on the run? And on the run for what?

my favorite kind of winter

I love summer! The touch of the sun on my face, the great feeling I get when I wake up and see the early morning sun, the birds, the nature, the long days...sea side, sun baths ... what is not to love?

When winter comes, I function on autopilot. Reality strikes when my nose it's running and I can't sleep because of coughing.

But there is another side of winter I completely forgot about until today. After two days of heavy snowing everything was white. So white that the traffic was paralyzed. It was quiet, the temperature was around the generous -3C, no wind, no traffic noise, just an immense sea of white puffy snow leaving me under the impression I was walking on clouds.

I remembered the days when I didn't hate winter nor loved summer, the days when I could just enjoy every day as it was...any day... the days when the sky was only blue and when I could hear birds singing everywhere...the days when I couldn't multiply two by two, but nor did I cared.

 

Valea Draganului

Must see

Like any other movie lover, I have my own list of must sees. Last November, one film stood out from the crowd and made me declare my undying love for the seventh art. That film is Radu Mihaileanu's latest masterpiece called "Le Concert".

The film is a complete art work starting from the topic (a renowned conductor of the Bolshoi orchestra overcomes the impossible in order to make his dream come true after long years of suffering) and going forward to the actors, the incredible directing and the flawless script.

"Le Concert" took me from the theater hall and carried me on the wings of music, making me a part of the film. I have never experienced such a wide range of emotions in just one movie: I have laughed, cried, waited for the next scene holding my breath and I have been proved wrong when I declared that I can easily predict next scenes.

For me, "Le Concert" was THAT movie! The movie I told everyone I knew about, the movie that I recommended to everyone, the movie that made me say to everybody "That's why I love films!".

learn, forget and re-learn

I am no technical guru, but I am no computer / internet illiterate either. I created this blog like an year ago, I forgot about it...managed to find it today and have my first post :)

My 1st year university statistics / computer teacher (Mr. Pah) would be saying a prayer right now! He never gave me a chance with computers :))

Oh well, I do like to prove that I am more than a smiling face